Or else a Lifetime movie. But I digress.
So, the two new roommates moved in about the same time school got started back up again. The first one we had confirmation on was the soon to be single mom. She had a good relationship with her parents, as was evidenced by the fact that her mom was with her when she came to look at the apartment, so to this day, I'm really not sure why she didn't just move in with them, especially since she's on welfare. But anyway, she's nice and fun and we get along well, and I was excited to have a little baby around.
Enter the Texan.
First of all, I hate Texas with a passion. I hate what it stands for, I don't like the politics, I don't like the gung-ho religious fundamentalism and their distrust of all things perceived to be liberal. And I really hate football and guns. And Dr. Pepper. I could go on.
But anyway, the guy moved in, and for whatever reason, he ends up paying more than what the rent was originally, but of course, he doesn't know that. Sometimes I wish he did. Things started off okay. He moved in and he mostly kept to himself and talked to the Single Mom. He and BF had a lot of nerd stuff in common, so there was that. On the other hand, he bugs the crap out of me.
Let's start with his personality. He's an inserter. For those of you who are unfamiliar with my term, let me explain it to you. Let's say that you and another person are having a conversation, or you are having a conversation with a group of friends. An inserter will come along and "insert" himself into the conversation, without being invited or asked an opinion, adding things he or she thinks is relevant, but nine times out of ten is just plain annoying. And he does this ALL the flipping time. BF and I will be having a conversation, and he just throws things out and tries to join in. I'm sorry, but I don't think it's too much to ask to have a flipping private conversation with my boyfriend in my house not in my bedroom!!!!!!
It's gotten to the point that I will just stop talking when that happens, and yet BF doesn't pick up on that, and he will either continue to ask me stuff, or just start conversing with the Texan, which is even more annoying because we didn't get to finish our original conversation. FUCK!
Sorry, I'm really pissed right now. There was an incident today, which I will get to later, and I'm still upset about it.
I got so frustrated that I posted something on Yelp. It describes the situation in more detail than I have the energy to write right now. Below is the relevant excepts:
Originally he was supposed to be going to school when he came out here, but I guess he missed his registration date, and so he currently spends his days sleeping, eating, and either playing video games or watching TV. But whatever, if that's how he wants to spend his life, fine. I mean, it does bother me that I have such an unproductive member of society in my house, but what can you do? He does pay the rent (albeit, we had some trouble with that initially), using money from his mother's 401K.
Here's what bugs me: he's a bit of a slob. Now, when he moved in, my boyfriend told him the rules of the house were basically no smoking inside, clean up after yourself, and pay the rent on time. Other than that, he can do whatever he wants. Those have been his rules since before I moved in with him, and since it is his house, I try to stay away from the business end of things. The problem with that is this guy is really untidy. Now, for my part, I'm not Monica (from FRIENDS) or anything, but I do like to keep the common areas (kitchen, living room) clean. I especially hate having a dirty kitchen. Nothing bothers me more than when I go to cook a meal and there's a sink full of dirty dishes, old pizza boxes on the floor, and grease spatters from the last person who cooked. So now, instead of cooking a meal, I have to clean the kitchen beforehand, then cook, then clean it afterwards--only to have him come in after me and leave his empty pizza box on the counter. He doesn't even eat in the dining room--why not just take the box in your room??? This has happened more than once, and my boyfriend, as landlord, apparently has told him to clean up after himself, and, according to said boyfriend, the guy says okay, but then doesn't do it. Or if he does actually manage to wash a dish, there is still a layer of grease or a speck of food on it, and I just have to wash it myself anyway.
Aside from that, he will also take clothes out of the dryer (when he's not even using it yet) without seeing if they are dry first, which, if I don't catch this in time, causes the clothes to mildew and then need to be washed again. I swear, this guy has no home training whatsoever. That one caused me to put a note on the dryer that said, "If you're taking out someone else's clothes, please check to make sure they are completely dry, otherwise they will mildew and need to be washed again, and this wastes more time and money." Very passive aggressive, I know, but I really don't know what else to do.
my boyfriend said he talked to the guy, and he said okay, and in my boyfriend's head, that's that. He doesn't understand why I "get so frustrated over a pizza box." Of course I'm not "frustrated about a pizza box." It's the fact that I have been cleaning the kitchen all day, washing dishes that aren't all mine or my boyfriend's, and now I have someone put their trash on the counter, and unless I take the initative to clean it up, it will stay there until he orders another pizza (which will probably be two days). It's the fact that the behavior doesn't seem to be stopping. It's the fact that no matter how hard I try I can't seem to have a clean kitchen without guarding and cleaning all day and night. And that's not fair. Not when there are three other adults in the house. Now, the single mom, for her part will clean up, but she has a baby to take care of, and I understand that. And my boyfriend is in medical school, so he needs his study time, and I get that too. He has worked really hard to have the highest GPA in his class. Unfortunately for me, I'm the one whose grades and nerves are suffering. Whenever I complain about this to my boyfriend, or he notices I'm upset and asks why, his solutions are always radical--"Do you want me to kick him out?" "Maybe I should just get a new credit card and buy a dishwasher."
First of all, much as I would like to be rid of the lummox, we can't afford it. Over the summer, we lost both of our renters and we were barely scraping by. Granted, I really enjoyed living alone with my boyfriend, but he was always upset that he couldn't pay this bill or that bill, and everytime I'd suggest doing something that cost money, he'd flip out. By the time these new renters moved in, we were so desperate, we took what we could get. The problem is, with both of us going to school part time and working less than that, we really can't afford not to have renters, no matter how slovenly.
So I guess my question is this: how do I express without sounding like a bitch who doesn't want to clean that I'd like him to be cleaner, and do a better job of cleaning. I mean, do I need to give him a dishwashing lesson? Do I need to show him how to clean off the counters? Honestly, I thought it would sound better coming from my boyfriend, because then he sounds like the concerned boyfriend who knows that his girlfriend is working her fingers to the bone to keep their house nice, not to mention that he is landlord and can kick anyone out at anytime. I really want to know why he is so reluctant to say anything more to him. I know why I am. The guy is a total creeper. He's big (both vertically and horizontally) and has that serial killer look about him (maybe I'm exaggerating a bit), but the fact that he takes his video games so seriously (he will yell and curse at the game) makes me nervous to be around him. He's okay with my boyfriend, and is even pleasant, so maybe he doesn't see what I do. I'm not good with confrontation anyway, and I tend to internalize things, which is probably why I'm always so frustrated--that, and I'm the only one who seems to do anything about the situation. Anyway, I think I've yelped enough. Thanks for listening.
Another thing that bothers me about the Texan is he has a story for everything. I could say Cherry Banana Cumtwat and he would have a story about how this one time he met a stripper named Cherry Banana Cumtwat in Iowa while Tom Hanks was screaming at a skiing lama...or something. I tend to tune out when he's talking.
I think the most frustrating part is that my boyfriend does not feel the same way as I do, and, in my opinion anyway, dismisses my concerns, or, if he says, okay, fine you can do this, or get this, like he's indulging me. His excuse, or rather "justification", is that the guy is actually paying rent, so what's the big deal if he doesn't wash dishes or pick up after himself? I'm sorry, the big deal is that I work my fingers to the bone to keep this house clean--by myself, I might add--with no one to help me of their own volition, and it fucking pisses me off that as fucking landlord you won't open your goddamn mouth to say anything because you can't live without being able to pay your goddamn bills, and...you know what, I'm too pissed off, I need to fucking go do something.
No comments:
Post a Comment